Alright. So as you may or may not know (but probably don’t), I work at a retail store. One that involves a lot of human contact, not just the typical, “Are you doing okay? Oh, okay.” and then vanishing. The fact that this particular profession attracts SO MANY creepsters (and a nicely worded satire from The Onion) is one of the main reasons why I have never, ever in my life tried to hit on a barista. I, especially, seem to be a creepster magnet. About a week ago, a customer called the store after leaving to invite me to play board games. Two days ago, I was asked if I was naturally a red head (I look nothing like a red head) and if I like to party.
It should be said, though, that creepsters are not just sequestered to the “I still live in my mom’s basement” or “My girlfriend is a life sized doll” sects; no, creepers come in all shapes and sizes. Sometimes they are rich businessmen. Sometimes they are famous artists. And on that note, I present for your approval, Vito Acconci to the Creeper Hall of Fame. Poet turned performer and video artist, most of his work deals with power and force: this is already enough to make him awkward, as most people, on human nature alone, have issues when power is taken away from or force is used on them. Vito, however, just has a creepster look about him. And well… okay. I’ll just let you watch: